It was a grave reaction to I.V. antibiotic. The medical staff had moments to respond and stabilize as his numbers instantly plummeted: blood pressure heart rate oxygen level
I did all I could do: feverishly fan and fervently pray.
A while after he was stabilized and we were alone, he asked me, “Was I singing?”
Singing?? I wasn’t sure if he was yet “all there.” Then he explained.
I saw the numbers. I felt like I was leaving. Then I found myself somewhere else. Somewhere black. Not scary pitch black. Soft black.
I wasn’t touching the ground. Yet I wasn’t being held up by anything I could feel. Simply suspended.
I heard singing. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.” The Doxology. I sang with them, belting it out with all my heart. Strongly. Clearly. Beautifully. Not my usual muffled-mushy voice.
And I felt peace. Utter peace like I have never felt before.
And I knew that if this is all there is, I’m okay with that. Much more than okay.
He also described being unaware of how much time he spent “there.” It could have been moments. It could have been hours. Time was meaningless.
It seemed to me he was astonishingly neither fully here nor fully there, yet fully present in both.
My favorite time of year. The cool air and nearly setting sun beg my attention. It feels good to need a hoodie and jeans. The sound of leaves crunching beneath my feet makes me smile.
In the distance, drum cadence announces that tonight we have a home high school football game. This sound has been part of my life since childhood. The sound of my dad’s heartbeat, it seems. Nostalgia of the best kind, though through misted eyes.
The deep blue sky I refer to as autumn blue is interspersed with puffy white and charcoal. This combination delights me.
I spot an elderly gentleman in a neighbor’s yard. Perhaps he is related to my neighbor, but I don’t recognize him
until I do. He waves. I wave back, pretending I knew him all along. Pretending I didn’t notice the new elderly gait. The hunch.
My attention turns to the shadow accompanying me as I stroll. And I again pretend not to notice the new elderly gait. The hunch.
The earth’s tilt this time of year makes the sunlight strike at a lower angle. My eyes gaze at the elongated tree branch shadows
before lifting to the sky in time to catch deep purple and orange fade to pink and lavender. I feel my eyes smiling my heart calming and the call to return home.
As I approach the house, Mom and Dad’s antique Tiffany-style lamp brightens the window and casts a glow on the blooming hydrangea tree we call Patricia, after my mom. Contentment washes over me.
My little 17 syllables can’t do justice to this treasure we have lost. Here are some quotes (not even a drop in the bucket) that particularly touched me, in reaction to today’s news:
“The world has lost its most persistent light.” ~ Susie
“A national treasure. One of my favorite things about her was that she wasn’t a billionaire because she gave so much for others” ~ Amanda
“Literally my office stopped and we all cried.” ~ Mersadise
“So she’s not gonna write any more books?” ~ little Charlie, when he heard of Dolly’s passing “No, but I’m sure she set it up so kids can keep getting books each month.” ~ Charlie’s mom, Sally
“The earth’s axis just tipped.” ~ Brenda
“You will be lovingly remembered for generations.” ~ Jim
“Somehow, I thought she would always be with us.” ~ Letitia
“Thank you for shining your glittering light of goodness onto me and the whole world!” ~ Libby
Let’s catch us a flight to a village in Wales named Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. We’ll see all the sites, and return with tall tales of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
I’d say let’s write verse, but I doubt there’s a rhyme for Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. So as we traverse, let’s be poets in mime in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
Teach ESL to awe-inspiring refugee and immigrant women Hold memories close Invest in others Notice loveliness around me Granddaughter time! Spend time with those I love
Intercessory prayer
Compose well-written poems and poorly written poems Appreciate all I can do … and all I can’t, but others can Nod and smile to you, whoever you are
Delight in little things Offer God my humble thanksgiving
Frame my day with time with Jesus Open windows to smell spring’s viburnum and lilac Roll with it
Music (listen myself, and sing when nobody listens) ESL volunteer teacher time bookends this acrostic
“A very little key will open a very heavy door.” ~ Charles Dickens
Not all journeys entail physically moving via mode of travel. Not all baggage is luggage. Not all in our possession belongs to us. Not all we carry on our shoulders is ours to carry. Not all we push against, even with all our might, will budge. Not all we move toward is best for us. Let loose your baggage. When the key opens the door, you know you are home.
When God created Adam from the dust of the earth, He breathed His own life into him. Adam had as near a perfect relationship with God as we could possibly fathom. They walked together in the garden in the cool of the day. They talked. God allowed Adam to name every animal He had created. The Bible doesn’t go into much detail about their daily communion with each other, but it leaves no doubt they had an intimate relationship. Adam had God in face-to-face, real connection. What an amazing thing to ponder. We know God has a sense of humor, and that He made Adam in His own imagine. I love to imagine them making each other laugh to near tears on the regular! I love to imagine Adam picking God’s brain when it came to caring for His creation. How amazing would it be to have been able to have a documentary of, say, a week in the life. Oh to have that face-to-face, closest of relationships with our very God! And yet, God saw that Adam experienced a nagging and substantial loneliness that he couldn’t shake. Did God reprimand him with, “Adam! Quit your whining, oh ye of little faith! I am all you need!” No. He understood and His heart was touched by Adam’s need. He made a companion and “suitable helper” for Adam. And then God communed with both of them.
God values our needs. And in fact, to come to Him, need is all we need.
This is in response to our Poetic Blooming’s prompt #598: Write an on track poem. It is also about my husband, who was admitted for an acute attack of pancreatitis.