Walking up my street, I see a man walking toward me. Aww. Looks like Grandpa, I think, knowing it couldn’t be. As we get closer, there is no mistaking. Yes, it is Grandpa. I don’t want to wake up, and miss out. He approaches me. “Grandpa!” He gives me a hug. As is nearly always the case when I dream of the dead, all senses are engaged.
“Grandpa, what are you doing here?” He says he came to tell me not to worry about circumstances that were consuming me. Everything would be just fine.
Then he says, “You know I can’t stay.” Yes, of course. I just don’t want to lose him again so quickly.
“But I will come back,” he assures. He hugs me again, and, just that quick, he’s gone.
My long, detailed dream continues. It seems to last a good portion of the night.
Suddenly, there he is again. This time, he doesn’t speak. His silence stills me, while it declares a grand reassurance.
I wake from the dream, recognizing it hadn’t been merely a dream.
And I smile. When he said he would return, I hadn’t realized he meant that quickly. That night. That dream.
Sleep came,
but the dreams that accompanied it
were disturbing
and all I could do was pray for peace
as worry for her threatened to devour me.
Disquiet was my life for months
and months
and months.
Then one night I found myself
walking a path of undisturbed snow.
The moon was my only light –
just enough to illumine the path,
glisten against the falling snowflakes,
and reveal the immense evergreen forest.
There was silence,
save the calming crunch
of snow beneath my feet.
I walked the breathtaking beauty all night,
accompanied by One who knows me intimately –
the only One who offers stillness
in the midst of turbulence.
In last night’s sky I saw hundreds of stars above me, and I remembered Michigan’s night sky, when you and I stood beneath not hundreds but billions or trillions and I wished I could take them home.
In last night’s sky I saw hundreds of stars above me. Today, not even one. Not even the sun.
But now? Now, I know they are here –
billions and trillions and even the sun, and even when I see not even one.
When fall visits, we crisscross the trail – never tiring of the crunch of crisp leaves beneath us, savoring childlike fun.
The brisk, fresh air invigorates – motivates us to ride further, sometimes pausing to capture photos of fall foliage, fields dotted with orange pumpkin; orchards with red apples.
Bushed and beaming, we head home, cautiously peering around multi-colored leaf piles raked to the curb – some taller than the cars avoiding them.
Home, warm and cozy, fire in the fireplace, popcorn popping, already reminiscing,