She drips eloquence,
but her needs, desires, and core
are not free to speak.
© Marie Elena Good, 2022
He asks what my hardest moments have been, pressing me to purposely reflect on a life that has been primarily appreciation-inducing. I had parents who loved me well and modeled life; relatives who enveloped and affirmed me; friends who have laughed with me, and accepted my limitations; a sister with whom I can celebrate differences and honor common blood; children and grandchildren of limitless love; a husband who gives selflessly and fills my gaps; a Savior who has walked beside me since my earliest days. These thoughts of great blessing bring easy breath and grateful tear. Not that I have not experienced occasional pain. Loss of loved ones. Moves I did not want to make. Divorce. I have not been exempt from affliction. But searing misery has come from a single source: The suffering of those I love.
There is no torment
than wanton worry.
© Marie Elena Good, 2019
Two decades passed
Since liquor last passed my lips.
Past pain eclipsed my gain;
The ache of wounded heart
Returned again to tear apart
My fragile strength.
Now what lengths will I go
To hide the flow of the drink;
Make everyone think I am well?
Well, I’m not. I’m fraught
With what brought me here.
I can’t disappear. Couldn’t then
When men, cavalier, had their way –
Reduced me to prey.
Two decades erased
With a taste.
My wholeness now broken,
“Just take me,” unspoken,
While hades trades truth for a snake –
With each sip I take,
© Marie Elena Good, 2016
“With each sip I take, I break” is actually a partial line from Peaceful Easy Feeling by Walter Wojtanik.
(Not to worry about me, friends. This is fiction, though sadly loosely based on the plight of someone dear to me and for whom I daily pray.)
When depth of pain has plunged to ocean’s floor,
And memories seem to marinate in tears;
When anguish tries to overtake your core;
When every conscious thought confirms your fears,
I stand in awe of what I see in you –
Your joy in Christ still manages to shine
Despite the flames of hell you’re walking through –
The fruit of lives abiding in the Vine.
Our Father fully comprehends your loss –
Your son now lives, because His bore the cross.