Reflections | pictured words

DEAR MOM,

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DEAR MOM,

I wonder if you smiled after tucking me in at night, as I yelled, “I love you and I like you,” until I heard you reach the bottom of the stairs.

When I was in high school, you and I would often walk Naples’ beach. I told you how much I enjoyed our beach walks. You told me I would get a boyfriend, and would no longer choose to walk the beach with you. I got that boyfriend, and spent a great deal of my waking hours with him.

I wonder if you smiled each time I asked you to walk the beach with me.

Even through my teen years, you made sure you were home when I got home from school. You didn’t want me coming home to an empty house. You stopped whatever you were doing, and took time to talk. Even then, I understood the blessing of that.

I wonder if you smiled whenever you remembered me telling you I appreciated coming home to you.

I believe early Alzheimer’s began to separate you from yourself. I think you recognized that, and feared eventual separation from all of us. Perhaps that’s why you began saying, “I love you. You know that.” You wanted to make sure your love for us was so deeply rooted that there was little risk of it getting lost somewhere in a possible future of unknowingness. You know that. That little phrase attached to I love you was part of who you were. Yes, we knew that. You were kind, and good. You loved well.

I wonder if you smiled somewhere inside when I whispered, “I love you and I like you,” in those final days when you were growing less responsive.

2 Comments

May 3, 2020

AWAITING WATERSHEDS

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Photo by Keith R. Good

Every crisis in my life
has left expected tinges
I wish were erasable,
but also unforeseen traces
of the embraceable.

April 15, 2020

GROWING DREAMS

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Photo credit: Keith R. Good

Wake up beautiful
Cute high heels, good for my feet
Feel pretty daily

No-pain fun workouts
Tasty food without weight gain
Flattering clothes, all

Snow with no slipping
Nightly beach stroll with no bugs
Flowers with no weeds

Warmth with no sweating
Nice chill with no shivering
Charcoal clouds with sun

Endless connections
Continuous potential
World with no borders

Love without judgement
Hard truths spread with soft edges
Loved. No exceptions.

April 12, 2020

REQUESTED (Izzy’s sonnet)

On the occasion of Izzy’s 6th birthday, I just wanted to again share the poem I wrote when she was born. Happy Birthday, Izzy! As soon as this Covid-19 stay-at-home is safely lifted, Poppa and I will have you for a sleepover and proper hugs. In the meantime, enjoy your birthday, pretty little sweetie! ❤

REQUESTED (Izzy’s Sonnet)

God graciously gives gifts that prove His love,
And this time used a cherished little one
Whose precious face is reminiscent of
The one who caused my heart to come undone.

Another set of prints upon my soul
Has made her presence known, and it’s sublime –
Just like a piece that makes a puzzle whole,
Or syllable that finishes a rhyme.

Upon three years of practice on my part,
You’d think by now it might have gotten old.
But every day brings wonder to my heart,
And now my joy has multiplied twofold.

Delivered straight to us through Heaven’s door –
The one her sister earnestly asked for.

4 Comments

November 7, 2019

Voice from 1972

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Had I the chance to sit silently alone in this no-longer new auditorium, might I have heard the echo of your voice? The music you conducted? My younger hands applauding?

It seemed so.

**************

Being back in the PSHS auditorium this week for the first time since the mid-1970’s seemed a bit surreal. Pride welled in me as they honored Dad, and a very large part of me would have given anything to return to that time in my life. Not permanently, but for another round. Or two.

September 8, 2019

PIGLET, ESPECIALLY

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Photo credit: Eric Mavis

It was said that Rabbit is made
of important things.
Piglet said, “Rabbit has brain,”
and, “Yes, Rabbit is clever.”
And that may be.
Yes, that may be.
But our smidgen-y Piglet is made
of weighty things –
nearly all of him being empathy
and oh-such-friendness
and how-can-I-helpness.
As Eeyore said
on that blustery day,
“Mind you don’t get blown away,
little Piglet. You’d be missed.”
And when you are missed,
you are weighty, indeed.

Christopher Robin’s friends
show us how to be ourselves
among others.
Being ourselves among others is
an important thing.

A weighty thing.

A Piglet-and-Pooh-and-Rabbit-and-Roo,
and Kanga-and-Eeyore-and-Tigger-and-Owl,
and love-me-for-me-and-I’ll-love-you-for-you,
significant, super-salubrious thing.

And so, little girl with your Piglet in tow,
be yourself as you grow,
and let others be so.
And when you’ve outgrown
your sweet childhood ways,
please hold Piglet at heart
for the rest of your days.

7 Comments

July 28, 2019

All About the Love

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Dad was a teacher, a band director, and a professional musician. In all of these professions, he was my father. I was always learning in his presence. He gave everything one hundred percent. I hear, in his voice: “Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm.” “Take it with you. If you need it, you’ll have it.” “Do your best.” “Practice right.” “Never look back. Just move forward.” “No regrets.” “Love is the most important thing.”

All of it, important. All of it, useful. All of it, wise.

There were times I was privileged to witness him at his core. Times that planted pride and love in my heart that I can hardly express. One of the things that made my knees weak came very late in life. I was sitting with a now extremely fragile man who was watching the love of his life slip slowly away, due to Alzheimer’s. “I’m not sure how to handle the coming day when I go to her room to kiss her goodnight, and she doesn’t know who I am.” My heart. The conversation was one of the hardest of my life. But also one that showed me he was still, in his elderly and fragile state, my father. As we talked about dark days ahead that could begin any moment, he gave me advice that encompassed all he was: “No matter what happens, remember her love.”

Love enthusiastically.
Love takes practice. Practice daily.
Take love with you. If you need it, you’ll have it.
(You’ll need it.)

Thank you, Dad. Thank you.

2 Comments

July 3, 2019

UNTITLED HAIBUN

Incredible image courtesy of Lars_Nissen_Photoart, on Pixabay

He asks what my hardest moments have been, pressing me to purposely reflect on a life that has been primarily appreciation-inducing. I had parents who loved me well and modeled life; relatives who enveloped and affirmed me; friends who have laughed with me, and accepted my limitations; a sister with whom I can celebrate differences and honor common blood; children and grandchildren of limitless love; a husband who gives selflessly and fills my gaps; a Savior who has walked beside me since my earliest days. These thoughts of great blessing bring easy breath and grateful tear. Not that I have not experienced occasional pain. Loss of loved ones. Moves I did not want to make. Divorce. I have not been exempt from affliction. But searing misery has come from a single source: The suffering of those I love.

There is no torment
more incapacitating
than wanton worry.

4 Comments

February 18, 2019

ALL IN THE SAME BOAT (Or, “Idyllic,” a Sonnet for Political Sanity)

Photo by Keith R. Good

When I consider all, from left to right,
I find myself smack dab in center’s eye.
But I am now okay with that, despite
The pressures of a partisan outcry.

Those right of me say I should think as they,
And fault me for the way I lean more left.
While to my left are those who stand dismayed
That I am not (in their minds) more “progressed.”

Yet are we not one vessel, stern to bow?
We need to row as one, or we will sink!
And so let’s work together to learn how
Our center, left, and right can interlink.

Let’s turn off the contemptuous hate speech,
And focus on the positives of each.

9 Comments

January 20, 2019

MAJORLY SIMPLE

Photo by Keith R. Good

I discovered the simple life I lead
does not lend itself to major discoveries.

Or so I thought.

Then I discovered something major
in leading a simple life:

Contentment.

Not as in settling. As in
being settled.
No big dreams, met or unmet.

Then I discovered contentment
does not breed motivation.

Or so I thought.

But lo and behold,
contentment inspires thankfulness.
Then thankfulness – praise,
and praise – a relationship with my God,
and relationship with my God – contentment,
and contentment – thankfulness …

And I am content
with this

simple,

major,

inspiring discovery.

4 Comments

pictured words

Tag: Reflections

May 10, 2020

DEAR MOM,

May 3, 2020

AWAITING WATERSHEDS

April 15, 2020

GROWING DREAMS

November 7, 2019

Voice from 1972

September 8, 2019

PIGLET, ESPECIALLY

July 28, 2019

All About the Love

July 3, 2019

UNTITLED HAIBUN

February 18, 2019

ALL IN THE SAME BOAT (Or, “Idyllic,” a Sonnet for Political Sanity)

January 20, 2019

MAJORLY SIMPLE